(英文高手入)作左篇英文,求意見

77 回覆
0 Like 16 Dislike
2017-08-20 15:33:17
小弟讀緊書,睇完新聞後有d感想,比個絲打改緊,都希望大家比d意見+改下d grammer ,小弟係廢j一名 ,希望學下野

(唔係功課)

The fatal blaze at a subdivided flat on last Saturday provoke extensive debate whether or not to legalize the subdivided flat in industrial building and allow some business operate in the industrial building.

Due to the space constraints and soaring rent, some business move into the industrial building. There is a table tennis training school which was located in Tai Wai are being sued by the authority of breaching the land law and safety rules. We may think Law is the law, all of us need to obey the law, but don’t forget this training school has been trained 300 table tennis players and some of them even represent Hong Kong to take part in some national competitions. Moreover, our government always advocate the sport development and craving for the talented athletes. At the end of the day, this training school is benefiticail to our society and it deserves spared prosecution.

CY Leung claim each family more or less only need to wait for 3 years for the public housing estate, but the newest public housing waiting list unveiled last week point out that The average waiting time of the public housing estate for each family is 4.5 years, which is far more than what CY Leung claim. The government doesn't provide the renting subsidy to the disadvantages since the authority don’t want to obstruct the residential property market and Hong Kong government advocates “Big market, small government ”, it is inevitable that the low-income group will force the subdivided flats inside the industrial building.

To me, I think the government should legalize the subdivided flats and allow some business operate inside the industrial

building. To prevent the tragedy stage again, the authority should do the spot checks more often, make sure all the subdivided flats, shops are obeying the safety rules and have enough fireworks equipment at each floor, also the government should make sure the industrial building is accord with Buildings Ordinance the that stipulated by related bureau.

The aforementioned is only the short-run methods, what the government should do is to boost the supply of public housing estate and consider to provide some renting subsidy to reduce public housing waiting list.

Even though the city becomes more prosperous, GDP per capita in 2016 is more than $40000 USD, there is still a part of the citizen living in such subdivided houses and face predicament, it is absurdity and lamentable. I hope the government should tackle this issue at once and don’t let this issue become deteriorating.
2017-08-20 15:46:38
幫你推下啦,唔想睇,太長 不過第一句個provoke已經錯左tense..
2017-08-20 15:57:54
proof read 下先啦,錯咗好多grammar
2017-08-20 16:00:12
好多好大意嘅grammar問題
講緊係is/are 漏s呢啲
2017-08-20 17:44:03
好多好大意嘅grammar問題
講緊係is/are 漏s呢啲

CY Leung claims
2017-08-20 17:44:43
你用好多好深既字,但係錯好多低級錯誤
2017-08-20 18:28:15
太長 係咁易望左幾眼 好多錯tense同is am are用錯嗰類mistakes喎ching
2017-08-20 21:06:09
犯左好多人中學會錯既野:搵好多中高級難度既vocab去堆砌一篇錯grammar and sentence structure既文章,而且用既vocab唔係好準。
2017-08-20 21:32:29
用好多長句但啲擺位好奇怪
令篇文好唔順
2017-08-20 22:09:08
仲有冇高手入嚟
2017-08-20 22:16:24
第一句既artical呢
2017-08-20 22:16:35
第一句既artical呢

article
2017-08-20 22:32:56
第一句既artical呢

article

即係?

Sorry,努力惡補中
2017-08-20 22:34:32
用好多長句但啲擺位好奇怪
令篇文好唔順

可唔可以比d例子同埋㸃樣可以做好d
2017-08-20 22:37:19
篇文多長句又唔通順 令人睇得好辛苦
我建議你寧願vocab用準啲同用多啲active voice短句
起碼可以準確表達到個意思先
2017-08-20 22:43:10
不如用淺啲嘅字,用啱啲grammar 先
2017-08-20 22:50:29
不如用淺啲嘅字,用啱啲grammar 先

有冇咩書or 網推薦學grammar
2017-08-21 02:22:34
last Saturday前面唔洗on

太長唔想睇
但你proof read下好喎
2017-08-21 02:34:29
Lv 3-4 at most 4
2017-08-21 02:37:38
1999 成篇文
2017-08-21 02:39:54
成篇睇落感覺好Chinglish
利申英文廢人
2017-08-21 02:58:47
臨訓前望望 只睇左少少 未必改得岩 戴戴頭盔先

Due to the space constraints and soaring rent, some business move+d into the industrial building+s. There is a table tennis training school which was is located in Tai Wai are is being sued used by the authority of breaching the land law and safety (?) We may think Law is the law, all of us need to have to obey the law, but don’t forget this the training school has trained (about)300 table tennis players and . Some of them have represented Hong Kong to take part in some national competitions. Moreover, our government always advocate+s (?)the sport development and craving craves for the talented athletes. At the end of the day, this training school is benefiticail beneficial to our society and it deserves +for more resources spared prosecution.

CY Leung claim +ed that each family more or less only need to have to wait for 3 years for the public housing estate
2017-08-21 03:21:21
成篇睇落感覺好Chinglish
利申英文廢人

同感
啲句子切得好夾硬
利申都係英文廢人
2017-08-21 03:39:29
臨訓前望望 只睇左少少 未必改得岩 戴戴頭盔先

Due to the space constraints and soaring rent, some business move+d into the industrial building+s. There is a table tennis training school which was is located in Tai Wai are [/s] is being [s]sued used by the authority of breaching the land law and safety (?) We may think Law is the law, all of us need to have to obey the law, but don’t forget this the training school has trained (about)300 table tennis players and . Some of them have represented Hong Kong to take part in some national competitions. Moreover, our government always advocate+s (?)the sport development and craving craves for the talented athletes. At the end of the day, this training school is benefiticail beneficial to our society and it deserves +for more resources spared prosecution.

CY Leung claim +ed that each family more or less only need to have to wait for 3 years for the public housing estate

佢呢到想話個table tennis training school俾人告
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